Dearest creature in creation,
Judy, study English pronunciation.

I will teach you in my verse, before I get into my hearse,
Sounds like corpse but corps, horse but worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye, your hair you'll tear.
Can you bear it, dear? Do I dare? Hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies but diet, lord but word,

Sword but sward, retain but Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.

But be careful how you speak:
Say bleak but steak, and break but streak;

Cloven but oven, how but low,
Script but receipt, Poe but poem.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter but laughter, and Terpsichore,

Typical but typhoid, measles and topsails,
aisles and isles, similes but reviles;

Scholar but solar, vicar but cigar,
Antarctica but mica, war but far;

One but anemone, and moral,
Kitchen but lichen, laundry but laurel;

Gertrude but German, wind but mind,
Scene but Melpomene, kind but kindergarten.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Note: bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and wood are not like food,
Nor is mould like could but cold.

Viscous but viscount, load but broad,
Toward but forward but reward.

And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,

Rounded but wounded, grieve but sieve,
Friend but fiend, alive but live.

Ivy but privy; famous but clamour
And enamour also rhymes with hammer.

River but rival, tomb but bomb but comb,
Doll but roll and some but home.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.

Soul but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font but front but wont (won't?), want but grant,

Shoes but goes but does. Now first say finger,
And then say singer, ginger, lingerie but linger,

Zeal but zealot, mauve but gauze but gauge,
Marriage but foliage, mirage but age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost but lost but post and doth but cloth but oath.
Nob but Job, bosom but transom, and loth? Yes loth.

Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.

In spite of reference, refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, and heifer.

Mint but pint, senate but sedate;
Dull but bull, and quiche but cliche.

Scene but scheme, Arabic but Pacific,
Science but conscience, and scientific.

Liberty but library, heave but heaven,
Rachel but ache but moustache; even but eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,
People but leopard, towed but vowed.

Feel the differences in your liver, driver,
Between mover, cover, clover;

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice but police but lice;

Camel but label, constable but unstable,
Principle but disciple, saddle but battle.

Petal but panel, and canal but morale,
Wait but plait, surprise but promise.

Worm but storm, chaise but chaos and chair,
Senator but spectator and mayor.

Tour but our and succour but four.
Gas but Kansas, and alas but Arkansas.

Sea but idea but area,
Aria but Maria but malaria.

Youth but south but southern, cleanse but clean.
Doctrine but turpentine but marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea with ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey but key. Eh?

Say aver but ever but fever,
Neither but leisure but skein but deceiver.

Xenon but heron, granary but canary.
Crevice but device and how do you say aerie? That's eerie.

Face but preface, like efface but surface.
Phlegm but phlegmatic, bass but bass.

Large but target, gin but give, and virgin almost rhymes with verging,
Ought but out, joust but scour, but surgeon almost rhymes with scourging?

Ear but earn and weir but wear
Pear does not rhyme with hear, but with ere and lair.

Seven is right, but so is Steven (Stephen?),
Hyphen but roughen, curfew but nephew,

Monkey but donkey, Turk but jerk,
Grasp but wasp, and cork but work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?

After the row in the rowboat, it's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Stowed unbowed solo, no solace from the abbess in the gunwale.

And of the bow in the rope in the bow,
Don't catch the toe of your shoe while in tow.

Islington but Isle of Wight,
Height but weight, verdict but indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or cough?

Cough? but hiccough has the sound of cup!
After two like those, whose advice is to strive to give up too?!!